F1

Well...its been one great weekend for me now. Chelsea mauling Villa 7-1, Lampard becoming the 3 highest scorer in the clubs history and my French classes finally starting off. With regard to sports i thought it could have been much better had United lost, or CSK had won their match or Arsenal losing theirs. But most of all it would have made my weekend special if the God of racing had been on the podium. Its been two races now quite predictably one can see Schumi being a little out of pace and touch in the current Formula one season. Its good for the sport that he's back as it will make things more interesting. I don't think never has the an F1 line up ever boasted of so many title contenders. I see about 6-7 title contenders and this will make the course of the season all the more exciting and enthralling. Schumacher's current form looks a little patchy and that is evident. However I didn't have a dismal performance of finishing 10 at Albert park, the place where he has won 5 Grand Prix.I however am not counting him out this season though it will be a little difficult. However keeping everything in mind I would expect him to put up a strong performance at Sepang.The car needs a little bit of tweaking so as to match the pace of the two Red Bulls who probably have been very unlucky despite being the fastest cars on the circuit on both occasions. Vettel and Webber are an amazing combination are going from strength to strength with each race. It is only a matter of time before 'Baby Schumi' will start his string of victories for the season. Button too has got on to a reasonable start and if his car remains steady he too will do well. For me the season will belong to Fernando Alonso and I see him winning the drivers championship and Ferrari the Constructor Championship. It was also a good outing for for Mr Mallaya and Karun Chandok. Karun managed to get the car to the checkered flag at last...!!! Quite frankly didn't expect him to finish..his effort is commendable. And as for Mr Mallaya, I am sure he'll be celebrating every point by uncorking a bottle of his lager ;) I just hope this years season will be more exciting and be filled with loads of drama...along with Schumi winning a few more races..! Vrooooooommmm...

Should I...Shouldn't I...???

Its 11:45 in the the night and am sitting on my counch reflecting on how the day passed. Work has been quite hectic during the past few days. Typical day starts off by by waking up at around at 6:00 Am and pretty much lazing around in bed for about an hour. I come to senses and the better part of me instructs me to head out to earn my daily morsel. Leave my place by around 8:30 or so with "Hangar 18" playing on my I Pod. Actually feels real good to hear some trash metal in the morning, atleast revitalizes my mornings. Anyways catch the the so called bus ( actually it's a mini van ) and am at my desk by 9:05 or there about. Slouch in my chair and like a trained Labrador start off by typing the username and password.Yep...welcome to my world and probably the world of a lakh and a half It engineers. The universe of bits and bytes encompasses quite a few people these days. Routine work of filling up the time sheet, checking mails, replying to client's requests etc is all a part of work which probably needs to get addressed within the first hour or so. And then , I start off with probably the most mundane and monotonous work of filling up excel sheets tailor made to the someone else's needs. Yes...most've of the time thats exactly what I have been doing. There have been days when you sit and stare at the 17" screen not knowing what the hell your are doing in life. Are you meant to be doing something useful? Is this something that I really want to do? Is this something that will take me ahead in life.? these questions stump me and quite frankly I get most've of the answers in the negative.What does one do with it. Its hard to explain...its hard to break the shackles and go try doing something which is unusual, outlandish and eccentric. infact I have an option of joining a prominent non profit, where I would get to interact with probably the best minds. I yet have to inform my parents regarding this and quite frankly have no idea as to what their response will be. Anyways when I told one of my friends about this, he was so hell bent on talking me out of this...justifying himself by saying that such things are not practical, financial constraints, dip in career opportunities. I on the other hand am quite passionate about what I want to do and really am looking for an opening to get out this routine work of mine adding quality in some aspect or the other. What I plan to do, how i plan to go about , I have absolutely no idea, am one confounded person and the situation is being compounded with the complexities I am entangled in ...I really am hoping that I can make one sane decision which will probably change the way I think and live..! man...i should've probably pursued philosophy over engineering..how muddle headed can a person really be...will probably hit the sack with the thought still looming in my mind and looking forward to a better day and a improved life.

The Dawn

WELCOME people...!!! This is the new stage in my life...and really it has been ages since I sat and typed some random arbit stuff. The sunrise is essentially to denote a new phase in my life and also in the ideas I am exploring. I have changed a lot with regard to my thinking and I think this will be quote evident in the posts that will follow. A lot has happened over the past year and the half, some good , some bad. However most of them were quite irrelevant as it never macthed with the life I was yearning to live. But anyways here I am, in the fast moving city of Pune. Well, atleast its faster than Chennai where I have a spent a good part of my life. Pune, the Oxford of the East, as quoted by Pt.Nehru is known for its education, which I totally disagree since the quality of education is no wrehere when compared to Oxford. That's an entirely different topic to debate about and probably isn't apt to write about right now. Pune more recently is known for the upcoming software hub, and well am one of those hundred thousand IT engineers in the city, who is employed in a major MNC for the past 16 months. Its been precisely 1 year and 20 days since i arrived in Pune. And quite frankly my stay has been quite eventful to say the least. This post is essentially to get back to my old writing habit which I so badly want to nurture and probably one of the few good things that has happened for me while working has been a major improvement in my typing speed. :P I will shared most of my experiences of the past year or so, as this will just help me ease my mind and look at issues in much calmer and broader perspective. Here's hoping that this exercise of mine is not an ephemeral one and hoping that I will be able to sustain it in the days to come. Cheers.. :)

the dream of death

A dream. I had a dream. I was in a strange land. A vast wilderness. The place was isolated and was completely devoid of any life. The land was barren and the mud was cracking. As the wind blew past my ear i got this eerie sense of feeling that something wasn't right. I decided to move ahead. I walked on and on but met no one in the vast wilderness. I called, i shouted...but none answered. The place was absolutely silent. I was alone. Alone in this wide world where there was no sign of life. The sun was beating down with all its might and the heat was getting unbearable. Then all of a sudden out of no where an voice beckoned me.It was a raspy one and sent a chill down my spine. As i moved closer towards the voice, the air around me started becoming cooler. The colour from my face started fading and i could see my hands turn white. There was this feeling that i got which induced into me a fear that i had never felt before. It was as if someone was sucking away the life within gradually which increased the pain all the more. A searing pain shot through my chest and my forehead was burning. My limbs went numb and everything in front of me started fading away into obscurity. The voice once again called out my name...this time in a rather harsh manner. As much as i wanted to move away from the voice, there was force that was pulling me towards it. I screamed n shouted but none heard me. By this time my forehead felt like splitting and all of a sudden the ground beneath me gave way. As i fell into the abysmal depths of the earth i saw shadow like figure on the top...my tryst with DEATH was over...and i plunged into the darkness....

crappy exams part2...

well...this has been a real long time since I've blogged..in fact nearly a month..so this is going to be my first blog for the month of June. Where was I??? i was in this shitty little room that i had to share with 4 people in my hostel..the reason..we were having our placement training programme. I'll leave that description for some other day. I'll scribble something about my exams before i forget totally about them..

after the three rather unsuccessful exams...rather 9 hours of absolute waste of time..i get ready to write my next one..BIOMEDICAL INSTRUMENTATION. The prof who taught us this subject had himself no idea about the subject and just blabbering some carp that sounded Greek and Latin to me.I had taught that this subject would be a easy one to tackle but jeez...when i opened the book and skimmed through, it looked as if climbing Mt.Everest would have been much easier. So with a heavy heart i started going though my textbook and hell..with each answer i read it looked more obscure. I still have no idea about what i read. Each answer was extending to nearly 7 pages..ie 14 sides of absolute bullshit..and i had 6 answers like this in each chapter..believe me it was an absolute nightmare. So like all engineers instead of solving the problem i started managing the problem ;) . ( that's why many enggrs become managers later on..experience.. :D ) My friend and I got in touch with one another and made a strategy..learning 3 ques from each chapter..making it 15 ques in all. I left the rest to GOD and proceeded to write the exam. Once i got the question paper..one look..and i knew that i was in deep shit..out of the 5 main ques..there were 2 ques i knew properly..the rest were all vague..i wrote the two i knew and i literally wrote gibbersih for the next 3. At that instant all i wanted to do was to get the pages filled..and thsi looks like another cat on the wall and things wernt looking too bright. ONce i came out of the hall it looked even more dark and this one in all probability might be the goof up in my colg.

The rest 2papers were subjects that were relatively easy..one was DSP aka degree stopping paper. I found this subject relatively easy as it more of mathematics nad stuff..tho i misread one ques and bungled that up. Apart from that it was fine.

The next Industrial instrumentation 2..one useless subject where all one needs to draw a few diagrams and write gibberish about it. one subject that one can write without learning though there is quite a lot to learn..however manged this subject too...

At the end off this crap..i've managed to finish my 3 yr engg realtively successfully and hoping to get done with this entire shit by next year..its seriously driving me nuts...!!!

test of time..rather engg!!

Damn i hate this part about engineering..in fact i hate most of the things related to engineering. Anyways its that time of the year when we buggers have to undergo the gruelling ordeal of writing an exam and more importantly clearing it..!! After why the fuck are we then studying?? Most people (me included) are doing engineering for the heck of it...to get the degree so that we can land up with a job.Hardly a handful of us know what the hell we have learnt so far. Anyways I'm mid way of my exams and believe no one likes writing them especially in the hot and sultry weather..it totally sux!! I got another copla exams to get through before i finish my 3 yr( yes..I've almost done it..even I'm surprised that i lasted this long :P )

Let me take you a week back ie on 18 may 2007 , the day my exams started and it was one stupid management paper. I entered the exam hall and i took me around 5 minutes to find my place. The goddamn hall is like an auditorium with nearly 100 tables arranges in one column and there are 5 such columns..so u can imagine the confusion that i faced. Once i find my place the bloody table isn't proper with one of its legs wobbling. So i do the next sensible thing, instead of fiddling around with the table interchange it with one of the other tables near by ;) . The examiner comes and hands over the answer sheet. I fill up all the shitty details about college n course name and crap and wait for the clock to strike 10'o clock , the time when the examiner hands over the time bomb which you have to diffuse within 3 hours. I brush through the question paper and i was thankful that i could write something apart from my registration no n college crap..managed to fill in a few pages and wrote 4 answers with relative ease. I mean which bugger cant write a management paper..all you need is to blabber about time management,efficiency n productivity and basic shit like tat. Somehow managed to get done with this paper and this is where all my comforts ended..the rest of the exams were going to be hell.

After a days break, rather a holiday to study which i didn't make use of i go in for my next exam. This one being some process control stuff and this subject is an absolute pain in the ass (most subjects are pain in the ass...but this one of those special ones). One look at the question paper and i was frantically counting how many marks i could by just merely attempting. I hardly knew any question properly..in the sense that i knew something in everything..just an general idea, but the question how much could i blabber with the limited information i had. I started with backwards and wrote the answer pretty decently. It was just the gift of the gab..kept saying the same stuff in in 10 different ways. In this manner managed to write 3 questions. The 4 and 5 questions i wrote a line each,gave my answer sheet and walked off. This one is gonna be a cat on the wall situation and i'm hoping that i fall on the right side of the wall..

Will write about the rest of the exams in the next blog..but as of now things dont look too bright...its just some crazy shit that i read and makes absolutely no sense to me...rite now i think i'll have to crash..might as well make use of the time to sleep when the time is available rather than repenting later ;)

maya magic

Last Friday was D Day for the Uttar pradesh elections, the state of dominant politics. It was the day for the announcement of the assembly election results. It was day when MAYAWATI was born again as a real dominant political leader as her party Bahujan Samaj Party(BSP) swept the elections and were capable of forming the government single handedly without any support which the congress was willing to give. Mayawati lead the part to an astounding victory and it was her formula or brahmin and dalit votes that brought her back to power. It was her charismatic leadership and her articulate and vociferous speeches that had a big impact on the peoples attitude and they delivered a resounding verdict for a change in the government.

Out of the total 402 seats present in the assembly one requires a 50% share ie a minimum of 201 seats to form the government single handedly.The BSP single handedly demolished all the other political partied in the fray by capturing a massive 208 seats well over the required limit. Even the various exit polls conducted by various magazines and the news channels didn't expect such a result.In all Mayawati sprung a surprise on every one including the media people and the political parties. Now what was the reasoin for such success in these elections. Her plan was very simple. She combined the brahmin and the dalit votes ie the upper and the lower caste people voted for her and thus eating away into the their party votes. This is easier said than done. The magic of politics that she spun kept everyone confused and the margin by which she won indicated the absolute devastation of the other parties.It is only after the time a of 1978 that a political part has single handedly come into power. Kudos to her for showing such an exlimpary performance.

The Samajwadi Party(SP) leadd by Mulayam Singh and Amar Singh was totally routed during these elections.They could gather oly a meagre 98 seats. What caused their defeat? According to me lawlessness ans inorderness was in absolute shambles. The upper caste had been let down by the BJP and the common man wanted a change. The law and order situation requires a complete upheaval. The SP banked too much on the ad campaign that it ran with Amitabh endorsing it. It gave no dividends and their strategy was useless. They bothered too much about Congress and in particular bashing which was just diverted the attention.They thought that they were taking on only the Congress and the BJP least knowing that the BSP had set the battle plan beautifully to its advantages. In addition Mulayam was bothered too much about the the election commission and commented that the EC was running a parallel government which has been rubbished by everyone. This is probably the first that the elections are being held in a free and fair manner without a single incidence of booth capturing.

Another big loser during these elections was the BJP which lost miserably a large share of the seats. The reason attributed to the BSP campaign and they ate into the upper caste votes of the BJP. The upper castes were probably tired of the BJP's rantings and lost hope in the Mulayam government and hence the only choice available was the BSP. The Congress on the other hand say that they never expected a miracle out of Rahul Baba's road shows and were never in the reckoning.The Congress and the BJP will have to back to the drawing board and do some serious thinking on how to approach the forthcoming polls else their survival not only in UP but as a national party will be in question.

But for the time being the limelight is all one person and she is making maximum use of it to boost her image.Many will remember her as a hardlined and very agressive politician but over the years she defintely has meloowed down considerably. Hoping that she manages to deliver on the faith that the people have laid on her. At the moment one can only say 'yeh sab maya hai'...

heat...

The movie is worth a watch...Robert de Niro and Al Pacino. One is a cop and the other a thief. It has got certain scenes which are just unbeatable and especially the scene where in Al Pacino and de Niro have a talk and then the guns start blazing. But the review of the movie will be kept for some other day. Its the goddamn weather that is getting onto my nerves.

Its the month of may and the place is already simmering. The heat is just getting unbearable these days. It feels as if one has being kept in a furnace for baking. The other day when i ventured out in order to go to the bank,as i stepped into the daylight, it felt as if a hot iron rod had been placed on my back. It was just unbearable. One doesn't even want to go out these days and the mercury is soaring reaching temperatures as high as 43 c!!! Are we in the subcontinent or in the Gulf or even worse, a place in the Sahara. Only the evenings in a way are pleasant but they hardly last for a substantial time.

Every day i get up with stickiness and the musty smell of the air due to the AC. I head straight for the shower and stand under it for nearly half an hour. Its such an exhilarating feeling having the water falling on your back and soothes the mind too. Well at least fir me this is best way to get some physical relief for the time being. If one steps into the shower at later than 10 Am then he's literally gonna be taking a bath in boiling water and when he comes he feels all the more exhausted and drowsy. I've been sleeping for nearly 8 to 10 hours during the day time and i attribute the drowsiness and the indolence to the heat. All that one does is switches on the AC and keeps it running for the next 24 hours. With the exams starting in a couple of days i wonder how am keep myself from falling asleep. I'm reaching heights of indolence these days and loads of work to finish. Another major issue is the power crisis. Though not as bad as the other states however there are issues related with electricity which are a major concern. When electricity is cut off it becomes an absolute pain and its impossible to stay within the house and its difficult to even venture out. Either ways its a hopeless situation and somethings need to be done to beat the heat. Its just driving me to the point of banging my head on the wall. I wish that some one would deport me to Antarctica or Greenland, at least even if freeze there it'll be in some cool climate but please at least give me ideas of how to beat the heat...!!!!

agnosticism vs atheism

Does GOD exist?? It is a pretty complicated answer and doesn't have an point blank yes or no. What is pertinent is that people are open to both the choices. Agnosticism is a dogma stating that there can be no proof whether GOD exists or any proof contrary to it. Atheism is more hard lined quality or belief of a person who doesn't believe in GOD, in simple words a nihilist. But it is important to note that a is very big difference between the two.

Agnosticism is basically a doctrine that one cannot know the existence of any subject beyond the phenomena of experience ie he relies on his feeling than to prove the existence of any entity. It can also be equated to religious skepticism more due to the influence of science on every one's daily life. Agnosticism can also be defined in a different way, as in the suspension of conclusion or opinion or judgement regarding any pertinent and relevant question based on the lack of evidence. Agnosticism is a positive conclusion of a negative belief. One can't pin point and say that agnosticism deals with cynical or negative attitude. Earlier agnostic people wished to apply the questions of knowledge to all processes nature and human sciences so much so that they started questioning the religious beliefs of the church but mind you never went against the it. A large number of people weighed the evidence for the existence of GOD and concluded that no scientific evidence proved the existence of God. Typically, agnostics held no grudge against people who had no faith in God.Thus agnosticism is a denial of knowledge about whether there is or is not a God.and an agnostic insists that it is impossible to prove that there is no God and impossible to prove that there is one. Ignosticism on the other hand takes the concept of Gods as meaningless one as there are no verifiable results and hence the concept of existence or nonexistence cannot be discussed.

Atheism can be simply put as disbelief in or denial of the existence of God or gods. Unlike agnosticism which is open to the existence of God atheism is a complete positive denial. Atheists argue against traditional proofs for God's existence making it just a matter faith n belief alone. It is grounded on concept of Enlightenment rationalism and supported by scientific model insisting that matter in the physical word represents the reality of the entirety. Atheism can be viewed as a trend that has developed due to the increased materialistic world and more liberalisation and toleration in the political scene. Once upon it was such that the atheists were always against the church and that has in a way mellowed down over the years. However there are atheists who believe that there is no God but had this has no pragmatic consequences in his life and there are atheists who doesn't deny it the existence of God in his heart but nevertheless leads a desolate and immoral life.

Although the concept of God may become obscured by the more vivid and compelling material from the senses, ultimately in dire circumstances or as the end of life approached every one is said to have acknowledged the existence of God.

keep walking....

I got off from the bus one fine evening on a Saturday. I had just been to the beach and had a a real merry time with my friends. I had time to kill. The sky had been overcast since the evening and now the time was about 6 Pm. The weather was great and i felt like having a walk. The breeze blew past my face, the feeling was just exhilarating and resuscitated the energy within me.i started walking towards my place...

I saw this man with a briefcase in his hand, who evidently seemed to be in quite a hurry. One could make out the beads of sweat on his forehead and shirt also apparently was also drenched with sweat, even in this kind of pleasant weather. Maybe this fellow had a lot of problem bothering him. Maybe his child was unwell or his deal wasn't a success. Whatever the reason one could make out the frustration in his eyes and there was sense of desperation written all over him.

I saw a hawker urging me to buy to buy his wares. It looked from his appearance that he too apparently had a very tiring day. However he had a smile on his face showing the signs of optimism that he had within him. He had beside him a small girl who's look of innocence is hard to forget. Her eyes were radiant in spite of the tattered dress she wore giving a feeling of hope that something better is yet to come and all this just a passing phase.

I saw a group of children playing playing cricket in a ground. Maybe they had come from school and had headed straight for some amusement.After all this time wont come back again. They will never be of the same age again (unless someone invents a time machine...which ain't gonna happen). Someday they too will be passing out of college hunting for a job and supporting a family in additon to be burdened with their aspirations and their dreams. Life can be an absolute pain at times but the joy of life takes is in taking up these challenges and coming out on top.

I see a mother with her baby in her arms. The face of the mother is calm and glows with the happiness. The baby keeps moving its arms in an attempt to grab something that it wants. There is a hidden desire within it and that one may fail to understand. The child is such a docile cration that one can't but admire the innocence. The clouds crak open with the first drops of the rain falling. As a drop falls on the childs face, the tear from its eyes roll down its cheeks...

I look up the heavens and experience the ecstacy and the bliss of the rain drops that fall onto my face. I thank the Almighty for the good things in my life and as pellets of rain drops turn into a torrent....i continue walking...

a very macro 'micro' affair.. part II

Yippee....i was so ecstatic and jubilant at the thought of finishing microprocessor. Phew.. i said to my self at least that's taken care off. By the way my HOD left the semester the same way she started it...with an accident. This time it was more serious and she a collar strapped to he neck(that had become a usual sight) and in addition to it she had this weird support kind of stuff to her back and not too mention that twig(the stick eroded due to the use but she never changed it) of hers which she still use d as a walking stick.Well i was happy about one thing, it was the last time i had seen in our class as a professor. Rumours are that she isn't planning to take class for us even during our 4 year. She feels that our class is unlucky..THANK GOD for that. It came to everyone and especially to people like me who are a little retarded at understanding this high tech geekish stuff.

After my exams, the feeling of getting over with my worst nemesis, microprocessor, hardly sunk into me and when college reopened after 10 days( yeah my college is very stingy when it comes to vacation...sadists!!) that they dropped a bombshell. This time we had to deal with MICROPROCESSOR PRACS. GOD.. how much can one take one of the absolute good for nothing subject.This was just making lives miserable for us. And believe me if u haven't understood the theory well then practicals will be hell too. However it was worse for me..'BLOODY HELL' would be the word that I'll use to describe my feelings. But what could one do...if u wanted the degree one had endure a lot of trauma and pain. That's a real sad part in any engineers life. So we get going along with the motions and our teacher this time would be the assistant HOD and a real mean, spiteful,vicious and obnoxious professor from the communication department. The stories that i heard about her were quite terrifying. She would meddle and tamper with your internals if she didn't like you and was capable of making your life a living hell. I decided to not try any funny tricks on her and decided to be as humble as possible( wen one gets desperate to get done with studies and the degree, he'll do anything).

And so in this amnner we got on with our practicals. For people who dont know what / how we programme in a microprocessor.Its some kind of box with keys that look like somethin stolen froma computer( actually they are ;) ) . The programming has to be done in amchine language ie a stupid language that the computer/microprocessor understands. In laymans langauage once you start coding it kind of looks like numbers all over the place like the stuff from The Matrix..its something similar to that.Well needless to say that i was hopeless at it and after a few classes i didnt know what i was doing. Then suddenly out of no where the teacher announces that we ave our university exasm with in a week. I didnt even realize that time had flown by and 2.5 months were completed. It felt as if i had joined college yesterday possibly as i have been givin my ocular muscles druing class hours. So i had this daunting task of cramming up programs and it never helped. So i went to the exam learning only 4 programs..this is was totally out of luck that i got one of them. I was so thankful to the Almighty that he had heard my prayers. I did that program alone, wrote some gibberish for the next one and left the hall with a big sigh of relief and a sense of freedom from this traumatic subject.

If any of you people who dont like programming and unfortunately come across the subject my only advice is get it out of your way as soon as possible...infact this subject has made me stronegr than before because i know that there's no subject as bad as this..so in way am prepared to handle the rest.. [:P]

a very macro 'micro' affair...

Well the heading doesn't tell much about what I'm writing. To most of the people this will sound dumb and just one of the usual things..but when u confront an engineer( OK..even a so called engineer would do) and ask him about MICROPROCESSOR..he'll go "Oh GOD!!! Not that subject.Ask me anything but that irritating and agonising subject." In fact an electronics(like me) or a computer engineer will best give you an agonisingand believe me if you haven't come across this subject the Gods have been merciful on you and you should consider yourself lucky.

Anyways, my association with microprocessor dates back to my 5 semester during my engineering course roughly about 7 months back when this subject appeared in my syllabus. In fact it wasn't as if i had no clue about the subject. My seniors with whom had interacted had before hand given me an idea of what kind of subject it was and to be honest they didn't paint a very rosy picture. But still i was optimistic and wanted to experience it first hand itself. Well this so called desire of mine so going to come true and i had absolutely no idea what i was in for. Once our college reopened our teacher,apparently our HOD, who was goin to handle microprocessor didn't come to the class for a week and a half. When we enquired we were told that she had met with an accident and was going to be out for nearly a month. We were all jubiliant and ecstatic after hearing this ,we took the other subjects pretty lightly anyways and this is just the perfect beginning that one would like to have for a semester.

Nearly three weeks passed before out HOD came back to college and started taking the subject. It was quiet a ludicrous sight when she entered the class. She had this weird collar that was starapped around her neck and this walking stick, which was more of a branch from some tree to aid her in walking. After all pleasantaries were exchanged and when she was quite satisfied at everyone had got a chance of enquiring about her health and her recovery she got to the teaching business. She started off by asking the most absurd question " how much have you learnt so far?" I mean how dumb can one get??? This lady was out for nearly three weeks and if she expects some one else to be doing her a favour by handling her subject then sadly shes mistaken. Well anyways we all give here this look of 'I dont know' and she gets the answer. She then proceeds to give a brief over view of what we were goin to be learning. To be honest i kind of liked what were going to learn and was quite excited about it( a little geekish but thats the feeling i got). She comes the next day takes these transparent sheets that they call slides and starts providing a slide show for the next one week. It was during this one week that i lost all hopes that i on this pne subject and gave up totally on it by the second week itself. internals were an absolute disaster and it was basically deluge if one can say so. But i ddin't give a damn..i said to hell with this subject. I haven't been born to mug up some programming nonsense.

It was the 3 day break i got during my main examination that enabled me to pull through this godamn subject.Believe me this is absolute painful, anguishing,torturous and tormenting subject. I still cant believe that i made it through this subject.. :) If you havent leant it be happy because IGNORANCE CAN AT TIMES BE BLISS..

loneliness

well what does one by the term loneliness..?? does it mean empty, void, null, seclusion or solitude?? loneliness will generally mean the above..but its is not easy to interpret how lonely or how secluded a person can be..its is that state of mind when nothing seems to be around and a qualities of exasperation and desperation takes control. Thus loneliness may be described as a feeling of being cut off, disconnected from and alienated from people or any species.
for eg consider a girl sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by people and her friends n the voices of their laughter are echoing through the shop. This girl is also having lots of fun and one can see that her face shows an expression of happiness.However within herself she isn't at peace and there is this void within her heart that doesn't let her live her life normally. The reason being that she is an introvert and doesn't open up to others. She doesn't take her friends or any of her family members into confidence and therefore has the feeling of loneliness or a depression which affects her life from functioning normally.
Loneliness is a relative and varies from person to person. A person may be lonely even if he has a lot of friends and pals but he doesn't get the deserved attention..in certain cases in spite of getting the attention and consideration the person feels detached..this means that there are people who are not satisfied by even the attention that certain are deprived of. A lonely person thus depend or rather hugs a some kind of illusion that makes him happy and keeps him going.According to me no human being can bear a steady view of moral solitude without going mad.Isolation is sum total of all the wretchedness that could happen to a person. A classic example would be from the movie OLDBOY where in a person is kept in solitary confinement for 15 years without telling him the reason and he's fed the same fried dumplings day in day out until he nearly goes mad.It is one of the real good movies that I've watched and the direction is simply amazing. The review will be kept for some other day. Coming back to the point them trying to make is that loneliness is an infection which has a remedy.No one ever discover the depths of his own loneliness. It is something that one will have to comprehend himself and take active measures so as not to go in further depression.Loneliness is just more than feeling of wanting company and the feeling of wanting of doing something.
loneliness has very simple and easy cure. A lonely person doesn't require attention..what he requires is love,affection,warmth and a sense of feeling that he is someone special.Thus isolation and negative attitude is the last thing that a estranged person would want.Loneliness might be bliss at times but too much of loneliness is just abnormality.

top 5 rockers in my list...

Well im big rock fan..and listen to so many bands..lemme jus run u throught the top 5 rock faces according to me...

Bruce Dickinson :

This guy is absolute treat to listen to . Lead singer of Iron Maiden the energy that he has with him on the stage is simply amazing. Apart from tat his voice is just one in a million. Dickinson possess genuine power and melody and has altered his voice to being more guttural and raw for songs such as Fear Of the Dark(FOD) , Hallowed Be Thy Name etc.. Apart from being a singer and a writer he’s also a pilot and pretty good at his favorite sport namely fencing. FOD has over the years become a cult metal song and is one of the most requested songs.Here’s to u Bruce..SCREAM FOR ME…..!!!!

James Hetfield :

He’s the most prominent face of Metallica. One true rockstar..this guy jus exudes energy when he’s on stage and gets the crowd going with his gruff and extreme voice.A fellow who takes no rubbish from anyone and has a great attitude. manipulates the puppets according to his wish, provides the fuel for entertainment and turns the page every time you think he’s done. Showed the door to Mustaine and carries the band single handedly on his shoulder. At times accused of being to arrogant..but this bugger knows truly knows how to rock..so apart from all that ..all I can say is..NOTHING ELSE MATTERS…

Kurt Cobain :

Talk about grunge rock n the first name that comes to you is NIRVANA and the first name that comes after that is Mr. Cobain. The true face of grunge rock and of Nirvana . They were the ones who popularized grunge rock . The songs were written by kurt himself and he didn’t believe in making things complex…he made the lyrics as simple as possible and this is evident in the smash hit Smells like teen spirit which broke all records and the album Nevermind is one of the top selling albums of all time. He took grunge rock to different level altogether and entertained the crowd with weird antics on stage which included a dope show n wreckage of all the guitars n drums on stage..He was cool in his own way and inspite of his demise his SPIRIT lives on…

Jimmy Page & Rober Plant :

This is the famous combo that took Led Zep to dizzying heights. Page with his amazing riffs n Plant with a voice which he modulate in any manner he wanted to made Led Zep one of the all time great bands in rock history. Led Zep’s music is such that it’ll make you high even if you aren’t doped and that’s what great about the music that they made. Jimmy page could make the guitar speak and the riffs that he played just makes nod your head till you just doze off. Led zep has been one of the most copied bands and they will be right at the top among any rock fans list. after all they showed us the Stairway to Heaven….

Jim Morrison :

Yet another talent that wasn’t fully utilized. Morrison most famous during his stint with the The Doors. His wispy, sonorous,unusual baritone captured the hearts of millions and by far the most famous song is Riders In the Storm which was craze when the album was released. Even now the song popular courtesy NFS soundtrack but the original is unbeatable. The Doors were fisrt recognized in the national scene at the age of 1967 and from there on there was no looking back. They produced hits after after hits. Later as time progressed Morrison became antagonistic towards crowds and was also arrested for indecent exposure. He died at the age of 27 due high addiction to drugs and alcohol joining the Jimmy Hendrix and Freddie Mercury who died at the same age. He however is still considered to be one of the most charismatic men in rock history.

mondays...!!!!

The alarm of my clock rings on only one particular day of the week..yup..ur right..its a bloody MONDAY..correctly at 5:30 AM. 24 hours ago i was having so much fun..roaming around with my friends and explorin places that i havent been before n here i am sleepingly switch off the alarm...plannin to wake up after 15 mins or so..n then i start hearin my grandma or my mom..whoever is present at the house at that time..shoutin out from the kitchen to wake up...GOD mondays i guess are a sad day in anyones life..!! sux totally..nyz..with the breath of the coffee tat i had drunk the previous night i get out of my bed..to head to the bathroom..n jus head straight for the shower...as the water beats down my back..its an exhilirating feeling..!!! i jus want to keep standing under the shower until all the water finishes..but me bein in chennai...due to water scarcity problem have to be a little conservative and hence sadly step out of the shower.

Its after all this that hassle starts...i suddenly remember that there are 4 or 5 assignments that have to be submitted else the professors will start to insult you in front of everyone..n then feeds u with threats.. bullshit infact, that hell make sure that you wont be able to attend the university exams..and hell report you to the HOD. Keepin all these thoughts in mind i gulp down my milk( yup i still drink milk durin the mornings..its become a habit)..n hurriedly rush to the bus stop with a lab coat flung over my shoulder and with books jutting out of my bag..im still devisin of an excuse of how to explain to the professor...gettin into the bus...take a seat..then decide to dream about the excuse rather than think about it..n by the time i dream about it my partner gives me jolt and pulls me out of the fantasy world..and i proceed towards my class with a sleepy n glum look ...and as i give an enquirin look to my friends they nod in unision..givin me the same look of desperation and helplessness...so all in all..MONDAYS well n truly SUCK..!! so enjoy sundays to the max..party hard..and have fun...expectin a lotta sadness the next day and one a bad start to the week can make the entire week a miserable one..!!!