Intriguing thoughts of a lazy fella..

The Retreat and the Cerebration

2010-11-25T11:49:00.000-08:00

A long time since I logged in to type...and definitely eons since I felt like just unwinding and fecklessly going about life. But sadly that is not to be..and actually this write up is also a part of my job as a teacher.In fact feels totally weird to call myself a teacher when in fact I am an engineer (yeah..i know the sighs..Yawn) and was working in a cushy air conditioned office 6 months ago. Anyways a lot has changed since then, my life is revolving around TFI and school, hopefully for now life is trudging along in the correct direction.

I have just returned from my trip to Ahmedabad where we had the annual TFI retreat where we expected to take a step back, reflect on journey so far, take stock of our hits and misses and gain some insights. Needless to say there was a lot of introspection and personally I was really looking forward to this trip because this would then give me a opportunity to learn from others experiences. I had no set expectations and one can not prognosticate the outcome of the entire trip.Such issues are very subjective and we could all give our own two cents worth on it. We left for Ahmedabad (Ahmd) on the night of 17 November 2010 from Bombay, reached Ahmd the next morning around 5'o clock and headed straight for Tri Bhavan. Here we had our first reflection session and for me it was all about what I should have done during the last 6 months but didn't.Its been 6 months now into teaching and really there have been so many failures during this time that it is hard to be self congratulatory even if you wanted to do so. Later on during the day we headed to ESI and the Gandhi Ashram where we interacted with the members Manav Sadhna, an NGO in Gujrat working for providing good sanitation,health,literacy and social upliftment.There are a few questions that one needs to ask on the principles on which they operate but that doesn't take away the credit of providing clean and hygienic sanitation in the communities in which they work.

That night and what followed the day after was probably the most enriching experience of the entire retreat.I stayed over in a community named Tekro, very close to the Gandhi Ashram. My hosts were a potter and his family. Prajapati, his wife and 3 children Rajender, Ramesh and Anu took absolute great care of me during the next day and the half. I had great Pancakes and kadi for dinner followed by a deep slumber under a thatched awning. They provided me with the blanket and the mattress.The next I tried my hand at pottery and believe me it isn't as easy as it looks like.There is a lot of skill,hardwork,labour and pain that goes into making a pot right from the scratch. Prajapati said"Is mein bahut mehnat aur dard sehna padtha hai.Zyada science nahi hai lekin kaam bahut hai." Their family really taught me the meaning of content and being satisfied with what one had in life. Their kids displayed the eagerness to learn new things and also reliaze the importance of doing well in life. They showered me with their blessings and their wishes that how much ever I thank it will be insufficient.That was time I reliazed that I fortunate to have lived a very comfortable life and had got most for what I had asked for .In contrast there are people who live in absolute squalor and abject poverty but yet are magnanimous to accept the reality and continously work towards making the next day better with out any complaints.

During the reflection that ensued the next day I spoke up saying that the one big take away that I have from this trip was the display of compassion,affection and love that one to needs to express with the people around him.I have been guilty of not doing so and it is time that I rather take the wrath of the people around me rather than rot away in solitary confinement. All in all it was a very enjoyable trip and am looking forward to putting down few of my other reflections in the days to come.

Searching for inspiration

2010-09-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

Another month goes by, and now its been exactly three months since I have started teaching.A lot has changed during this time, in me and hopefully withing the class too.Things for sure have improved but I am not too sure whether the pace is right. There are days when you really have to think of methods of making the classes more interesting in order to maintain the attention of the students.I try taking inspiration from my day to day activities and also from arbit things happening around that I can use in class to demonstrate or talk about so as to make the kids understand their application in life. It has been a very enriching experience so far and am looking forward to making it a 'enriching and valuable' experience for the children too. There are times when I really need to dig deep to get the best out and at times it is a complete failure. It is these moments that one needs to avoid even more so because the time spent within the classroom is as it very less. Compounding it is also the number of holidays, events in school, time wasteage and not to forget that my stay here is only for two years and I need to ensure that the kids get to understand and learn what I have to offer within these two years. I don't know whether I will be able to do so with all the 58 kids that I have, but if I am able to make a difference to the lives of even 15 of them I will feel reasonably happy that I have contributed in some form to their lives. There are also times when one feels helpness about not being able to help someone else despite knowing the weakness but none the less I am these days a big optimist and always have the belief that everyone can improve. Some just need to be given additonal time...the wait may be long but when the result is achieved the joy is an surreal feeling. I hope that in the next two months I have opportunities to show the kids what growth means and teach them values that will help them later on in life.

School Atlast...!!!

2010-08-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

Yes...finally...have started the real work of teaching and now have been 1 month into the job. It feels amazing...reflecting on how the last month has passed just makes me wonder on whether things could be done a tad baeeter but then things in hindsight can always be improved upon.
Given that I am a novice in the teaching profession, I must say my first few days of school were a mixture of nervousness and anxiety. What if I am unable to live up to the expectations of the students, what if something goes wrong in the middle of the class, what if I don’t get along well with my colleagues and numerous other questions. I am happy to say those fears were just a passing phase and have improved everyday as teacher and more importantly towards becoming a better human being. I teach Grade 2 students of a municipal school in Pune which has kids coming from underprivileged backgrounds but the amount of zeal and the urge to excel is second to none. When the kids come up words like Blink or Bluff in a phonics lesson or be it the sheer inquisitiveness in questioning everything right from why do we sing the National Anthem to what is the need to learn addition or the mere innocence portrayed when they ask “Bhaiya, why don’t we have extra class today?”, one just can’t help but have the faith and sense of possibility that one day they too will be able to lead the life they want and the education they get will alone be the gateway to their goal. Yes, there are a few who are slight out of line but I have the faiththey too will slowly improve.
. They should be able to develop a process of framing opinions and questioning every action taking place around them and take independent decisions. If they are able to transform their thoughts into action in terms of action and being a good citizen I will be satisfied with the work that I have done. On a personal level , teaching is an extremely difficult profession where in one has to put a lot of thought in terms of planning a lesson and thereafter executing it while keeping in mind the mishaps that can happen during a lesson. One has also bear in mind they are role models for innocuous children and enormous amount of responsibility rests on that of a teacher to shape the future of a kid. There is a lot that can be learnt in a teaching exercise and my respect for teachers has increased manifold after this experience.
Luckily for me I have all the support from my colleagues at school and the Principal herself. Despite being a new entrant in the system and having a different background, they have been very accommodative and helped me. Yes, there will always be differences between two idealogies but I guess one needs to live with it and try changing things. However I am sure things will be much better as the year progresses.
Ultimately when you reflect about your day in school thinking about the various lessons, you will always come across a better way of doing the same thing again but the critical point is to be aware that you gave your best shot today and that your kids are approaching the desired mastery level.

A month of Planning

2010-07-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Yep...its been a long time now since I have written something in the virtual world. It is 14 July and precisely a month back I started out in a venture of mine. I have joined this organization called Teach for India which is operating to reduce the inequity in the field of education. Well anyways the last one month has been absolutely amazing for me and I have been exposed to the different facets of life. I have interacted with a number of people from different backgrounds ranging from history, psychology, teachers, law, doctors, media etc…and last but not the least guys like me…the omnipresent engineers :P. The last one month has been absolutely thrilling and exciting be it the washing the cars to earn money on the very first day, going out into the community to ‘connect’ and by far the most exciting prospect has been going into the classroom and doing the real job of teaching.
Being introduced to the concepts of ‘Teaching As Leadership’ (TAL), backward planning, countless number of lesson plans and not to forget the community visits that we had. The last month was essentially for us to get acquainted with the role of a teacher and what a teacher’s responsibilities are both inside and beyond the classroom. Also we had plenty of training sessions by the faculty from Teach for America and Teach First. We also had a few leadership forums where we met APJ Abdul Kalam aka ‘Rocket Man’, Gyan CEO of the Rajiv Gandhi Foundation and is currently working on the impact of poverty alleviation issues at MIT and Kiran Sethi W/O Geet Sethi and the founder of the Riverside School. We also had a one on one session with Anu Aga former chairperson of Thermax and currently a member of the National Advisory Council to the Prime Minister. Apart from this we had plenty of sessions where we were asked to reflect and ponder over each and every activity that we performed and what we had missed out in life and we ought to have done. It is almost like a realization and most of these mind games still do continue. The good thing about these reflection sessions is that they help one analyze things in a reasonably quick time and hence one is able to incorporate changes asap. The one thing that I have learnt here so far is that everyone is vulnerable and if one fails, it isn’t a bad thing. One can either mope around or get up, dust himself and say “OK, fella…I ain’t gonna allow that to happen once again” and work doubly harder than what he did before.
Weeks have been hectic with the lesson plans and chart preparation taking most of our time. However there have also been times of joy be it the smile on the kids faces at summer school or the night outs at Lemon Tree. Either way there has been a lot that I have learnt in the past month that I am looking at incorporating in my personal life. The have been questions pertaining to social issues that have arisen that I shall address in my later posts and try getting a sound reasoning. I shall also try going in depth with regard to my teaching and learning during summer school. Finally I would like to just to say on record “My respect for teachers especially primary teachers has increased manifold”. One has no idea as to what they go through unless you are in their shoes.

Idealistic thought..

2010-04-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have just come back from a hard days of work, rather I'd like to think I worked hard. Anyways I doubt it matters.These days work has become extremely hectic and really at times this gets me wondering whether I am in the right job, am i doing a good job and more importantly am I deriving happiness from what I am doing. Why does one essentially work? The most obvious answer would be so that one can satisfy his needs and wants. Is the greater aim of one only to earn money so that he fulfill his aspirations or is the aim to fulfill ones aspirations without earning too much but still be content with what he has.I guess its logical to assume that when someones fulfills his desires or achieves something he is bound to be happy...but at what cost is something that each one of us needs to introspect and understand.

Am i trying to say that making money is bad? The answer is NO...wealth is important, and since we don't live in an egalitarian society,however much we would like to live in one, it is imperative that one takes care of himself without becoming a liability on any other individual. But what is dislike, rather disapprove of is the ostentatious display of wealth, when in country like mine millions of people are living below the poverty line and each day is a battle for survival. People could label me as hypocrite since I wear a pair of Adidas sneakers,carry an Ipod,a zippo and other expensive accessories which are not essential for leading ones life but just enhance his way of living. I may be at fault but then I am not displaying wealth in a 'vulgar' manner. It atleast isn't at the level where a chief minister of a state was decorated with garland of 1000 rupee notes fetching a value of over a crore. How can one in a country like ours, where people do not have the access the basic amenities to lead a respected life, have the conscious to display their wealth in a very arrogant manner and claim to be working for the upliftment of the downtrodden. I do not say that one needs to lead a life of austerity or live like an ascetic but the very least that one can do is be consistent with what he stands for and also at the same time help others in overcoming social and financial difficulties if possible.

I started off wanting to write about something else but ended up going on a tangent. I guess am being way too idealistic and expecting Utopian society. At this moment Lennon's most famous song comes to mind and all that i can say is... I Hope Someday You'll Join us and the World will live as ONE.

A city called Pune

2010-04-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

yes...thats the place am dwelling at these days. It was quite a change for me from my 8 years of stay in the south of India. And after staying in pune for a little more than a year I think it would be be rather safe to assume I know a few characteristics of the place, I could stand corrected in certain issues but then it wouldn't matter.. ;)

Well anyways what got me to Pune..?? My job...actually was very keen on going to Bombay( yes...i prefer calling it by its old name...hopefully won't get hammered for it) but my folks back at home brain washed me against choosing it and in hindsight it was a good decision. Nothing against Bombay but then on a couple visits to the city felt it was too fast for my liking. Anyways i came in expecting a lot from the city and well its been a mixture of hits and misses so far. It certainly isn't something like Bangalore or Bombay but I think it can be compared to cities like Hyderbad,Indore etc. I came from Madras and really one thing that I immediately liked about Pune was the weather. Thousand times better than Madras where one is generally sweating without even doing anything. Plenty of places to go and kill time...restraunts,bars,lounges,cafes or quite simply the telas..the point is that there loads of opportunities for one to kill time or make use of it. Personally I prefer Camp amongst all the places in Pune.The Place is one place that recommend people to visit.

A few other observations...

1)The public transport is really no good. Hardly have any buses or rather is frequency is ridiculously poor. So most've of the times one ends up taking a rickshaw...and its here thats ones Marathi comes into use. The fares that the rickshawalas demand are rather insane...just to give you an idea...to go to 3 phase in Hinjewadi(a place where all the IT coolies work..me too being one) from University one would need to shell out about 450 bucks. Thats as good as going to and fro to Bombay...!! + 1 for bombay ;) After a good 5 minutes in bargaining one can settle for a reasonable fare but still a little hefty on the pocket.

2) There are more institutes on the streets of Pune than in any other city in India. Almost every street will have an Institute in Management,Sciences or Arts. No wonder its called the 'Oxford of the East'...God alone knows about the quality.

3) The ratio 'boys' and 'girls' is quite a healthy one. Infact one will soon start getting an inferiority complex if he doesn't have a bike with a fairer sex riding pillion . Believe you me...I've experienced it..! How does one define a Loser...i guess you know the answer. Another feature that one will notice is that people either below 30-32 or above 50 on the streets of Pune. If there is one place in India where you will plenty of young people its got to be Pune.

4)The most interesting feature are the women on the streets. 99% of them will be walking or driving with a scraf wrapped across the face..almost like the burkha clad women in Afghansitan. Don't know the logic of the scraf...is it the dust..or the heat...or is it just that they feel their eyes are more beautiful...or is because they don't want to be recognised..?? I am still searching for an answer. Another interesting fact is that they have different scraves for different days of the week..polka dotted ones for mondays, purple for tuesdays,blues for wednesdays.. etc. Its quite fascinating and one can actually do a thesis titled 'Scarves, Women and their daily relationship' :)

5) Traffic...probably the most craziest issue is traffic.Peak hours are utterly hopeless...and really one crawls during early mornings and late evenings. At times it can turn into a demolition derby and if you manage decently in pune...you'll be doing wonderfully well anywhere else. I would like to see Schumi getting some practise on these streets...will help him a lot on the track when it comes to overtaking. My cousin gave me some good advice when I first reached here..."Never behave like a gentleman on the road...you never know when you'll get knocked...! "

None the less...despite all of this , Pune is a city with a lot of vibrancy,energy,bubbling with enthusiasm and with shades of grey that only add to its beauty and make it a more interesting place to live in...

Teach For India

2010-04-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

Today i have something big to announce. I am one of the few to have been selected as a fellow by a non profit organisation called 'Teach for India' (TFI) , To all those who don't know about TFI, it is a nascent organisation, just a year and a half old aiming at reducing inequity in the field of education. It falls under a world wide organization called 'Teach for All' and essentially is being run on the lines of a sister organization called 'Teach for America' (TFA) . TFI was conceived after a study conducted by McKinsey & Co as to whether the TFA model could be replicated in India and study gave two thumbs up :) . One can get more information by visiting www.teachforindia.org

Anyways that was about history TFI.I got to know about TFI when Kavita Rajagopalan, a representative of theirs, held an innocuous presentation at my company premises sometime in the month of Dec 09 inviting applications for the fellowship programme to be held in 2010. Once she had completed with her presentation, whether she had other people in the audience convinced or not she definitely had me convinced and guess she had done her job. The same day in the evening, I went and gathered as much information regarding TFI and what I read was something distinct and real. Over the next couple of days I made sure that I answered their questions in their application form in the best possible manner. The questions that they put forward to you really make one think and introspect whether one has really achieved something in life or not. That was the moment I realized that in my 23 years of existence there was nothing exemplary about and something that I could be really proud of. Anyways putting all my grey cells into action, got the answers ready and after a series of telephonic interview and agonising wait I got a mail informing that I had been shortlisted for the final round.

And really, on 28 Feb when I went to Thermax House, I was quite blown away by the people I met.Different individuals with different qualities, each one bringing something new to the table. I really felt that I was at the wrong place but it felt good that atleast TFI considered me at par with them. :) Anyways what followed was evaluations which were extremely professional, which included a GD,a case study, regular analytical and reasoning issues, a sample teaching exercise and finally the interview. My interview was taken by a program manager called Tom, who was part of the Teach First in the UK. And really the questions that he posed were really issues that one needed to search within himself. Reality can at times be such an illusion, that inspite of one thinking very high of himself, simple questions can put ones consciousness to shame. The entire process the convinced me as to how professional TFI was and how serious and committed they were towards the challenge that they had taken up and I really was sure that I had to be a part of this revolution and change rather than giving comments on talk shows and signing check books for NGOs. I went from the assessment centre not only as a more informative person but also as a person who had many difficult questions to answer. I badly wanted to be a part of TFI and when I got the mail confirming my admit I was ecstatic. My prayers had been answered...and I now embark on a journey of a different kind hoping to make a success of it...I am now officially an Teach for India Fellow for the year 2010 :)

F1

2010-03-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

Well...its been one great weekend for me now. Chelsea mauling Villa 7-1, Lampard becoming the 3 highest scorer in the clubs history and my French classes finally starting off. With regard to sports i thought it could have been much better had United lost, or CSK had won their match or Arsenal losing theirs. But most of all it would have made my weekend special if the God of racing had been on the podium. Its been two races now quite predictably one can see Schumi being a little out of pace and touch in the current Formula one season. Its good for the sport that he's back as it will make things more interesting. I don't think never has the an F1 line up ever boasted of so many title contenders. I see about 6-7 title contenders and this will make the course of the season all the more exciting and enthralling. Schumacher's current form looks a little patchy and that is evident. However I didn't have a dismal performance of finishing 10 at Albert park, the place where he has won 5 Grand Prix.I however am not counting him out this season though it will be a little difficult. However keeping everything in mind I would expect him to put up a strong performance at Sepang.The car needs a little bit of tweaking so as to match the pace of the two Red Bulls who probably have been very unlucky despite being the fastest cars on the circuit on both occasions. Vettel and Webber are an amazing combination are going from strength to strength with each race. It is only a matter of time before 'Baby Schumi' will start his string of victories for the season. Button too has got on to a reasonable start and if his car remains steady he too will do well. For me the season will belong to Fernando Alonso and I see him winning the drivers championship and Ferrari the Constructor Championship. It was also a good outing for for Mr Mallaya and Karun Chandok. Karun managed to get the car to the checkered flag at last...!!! Quite frankly didn't expect him to finish..his effort is commendable. And as for Mr Mallaya, I am sure he'll be celebrating every point by uncorking a bottle of his lager ;) I just hope this years season will be more exciting and be filled with loads of drama...along with Schumi winning a few more races..! Vrooooooommmm...

Should I...Shouldn't I...???

2010-03-25T11:59:00.001-07:00

Its 11:45 in the the night and am sitting on my counch reflecting on how the day passed. Work has been quite hectic during the past few days. Typical day starts off by by waking up at around at 6:00 Am and pretty much lazing around in bed for about an hour. I come to senses and the better part of me instructs me to head out to earn my daily morsel. Leave my place by around 8:30 or so with "Hangar 18" playing on my I Pod. Actually feels real good to hear some trash metal in the morning, atleast revitalizes my mornings. Anyways catch the the so called bus ( actually it's a mini van ) and am at my desk by 9:05 or there about. Slouch in my chair and like a trained Labrador start off by typing the username and password.Yep...welcome to my world and probably the world of a lakh and a half It engineers. The universe of bits and bytes encompasses quite a few people these days. Routine work of filling up the time sheet, checking mails, replying to client's requests etc is all a part of work which probably needs to get addressed within the first hour or so. And then , I start off with probably the most mundane and monotonous work of filling up excel sheets tailor made to the someone else's needs. Yes...most've of the time thats exactly what I have been doing. There have been days when you sit and stare at the 17" screen not knowing what the hell your are doing in life. Are you meant to be doing something useful? Is this something that I really want to do? Is this something that will take me ahead in life.? these questions stump me and quite frankly I get most've of the answers in the negative.What does one do with it. Its hard to explain...its hard to break the shackles and go try doing something which is unusual, outlandish and eccentric. infact I have an option of joining a prominent non profit, where I would get to interact with probably the best minds. I yet have to inform my parents regarding this and quite frankly have no idea as to what their response will be. Anyways when I told one of my friends about this, he was so hell bent on talking me out of this...justifying himself by saying that such things are not practical, financial constraints, dip in career opportunities. I on the other hand am quite passionate about what I want to do and really am looking for an opening to get out this routine work of mine adding quality in some aspect or the other. What I plan to do, how i plan to go about , I have absolutely no idea, am one confounded person and the situation is being compounded with the complexities I am entangled in ...I really am hoping that I can make one sane decision which will probably change the way I think and live..! man...i should've probably pursued philosophy over engineering..how muddle headed can a person really be...will probably hit the sack with the thought still looming in my mind and looking forward to a better day and a improved life.

The Dawn

2010-03-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

WELCOME people...!!! This is the new stage in my life...and really it has been ages since I sat and typed some random arbit stuff. The sunrise is essentially to denote a new phase in my life and also in the ideas I am exploring. I have changed a lot with regard to my thinking and I think this will be quote evident in the posts that will follow. A lot has happened over the past year and the half, some good , some bad. However most of them were quite irrelevant as it never macthed with the life I was yearning to live. But anyways here I am, in the fast moving city of Pune. Well, atleast its faster than Chennai where I have a spent a good part of my life. Pune, the Oxford of the East, as quoted by Pt.Nehru is known for its education, which I totally disagree since the quality of education is no wrehere when compared to Oxford. That's an entirely different topic to debate about and probably isn't apt to write about right now. Pune more recently is known for the upcoming software hub, and well am one of those hundred thousand IT engineers in the city, who is employed in a major MNC for the past 16 months. Its been precisely 1 year and 20 days since i arrived in Pune. And quite frankly my stay has been quite eventful to say the least. This post is essentially to get back to my old writing habit which I so badly want to nurture and probably one of the few good things that has happened for me while working has been a major improvement in my typing speed. :P I will shared most of my experiences of the past year or so, as this will just help me ease my mind and look at issues in much calmer and broader perspective. Here's hoping that this exercise of mine is not an ephemeral one and hoping that I will be able to sustain it in the days to come. Cheers.. :)

the dream of death

2007-06-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

A dream. I had a dream. I was in a strange land. A vast wilderness. The place was isolated and was completely devoid of any life. The land was barren and the mud was cracking. As the wind blew past my ear i got this eerie sense of feeling that something wasn't right. I decided to move ahead. I walked on and on but met no one in the vast wilderness. I called, i shouted...but none answered. The place was absolutely silent. I was alone. Alone in this wide world where there was no sign of life. The sun was beating down with all its might and the heat was getting unbearable. Then all of a sudden out of no where an voice beckoned me.It was a raspy one and sent a chill down my spine. As i moved closer towards the voice, the air around me started becoming cooler. The colour from my face started fading and i could see my hands turn white. There was this feeling that i got which induced into me a fear that i had never felt before. It was as if someone was sucking away the life within gradually which increased the pain all the more. A searing pain shot through my chest and my forehead was burning. My limbs went numb and everything in front of me started fading away into obscurity. The voice once again called out my name...this time in a rather harsh manner. As much as i wanted to move away from the voice, there was force that was pulling me towards it. I screamed n shouted but none heard me. By this time my forehead felt like splitting and all of a sudden the ground beneath me gave way. As i fell into the abysmal depths of the earth i saw shadow like figure on the top...my tryst with DEATH was over...and i plunged into the darkness....

crappy exams part2...

2007-06-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

well...this has been a real long time since I've blogged..in fact nearly a month..so this is going to be my first blog for the month of June. Where was I??? i was in this shitty little room that i had to share with 4 people in my hostel..the reason..we were having our placement training programme. I'll leave that description for some other day. I'll scribble something about my exams before i forget totally about them..

after the three rather unsuccessful exams...rather 9 hours of absolute waste of time..i get ready to write my next one..BIOMEDICAL INSTRUMENTATION. The prof who taught us this subject had himself no idea about the subject and just blabbering some carp that sounded Greek and Latin to me.I had taught that this subject would be a easy one to tackle but jeez...when i opened the book and skimmed through, it looked as if climbing Mt.Everest would have been much easier. So with a heavy heart i started going though my textbook and hell..with each answer i read it looked more obscure. I still have no idea about what i read. Each answer was extending to nearly 7 pages..ie 14 sides of absolute bullshit..and i had 6 answers like this in each chapter..believe me it was an absolute nightmare. So like all engineers instead of solving the problem i started managing the problem ;) . ( that's why many enggrs become managers later on..experience.. :D ) My friend and I got in touch with one another and made a strategy..learning 3 ques from each chapter..making it 15 ques in all. I left the rest to GOD and proceeded to write the exam. Once i got the question paper..one look..and i knew that i was in deep shit..out of the 5 main ques..there were 2 ques i knew properly..the rest were all vague..i wrote the two i knew and i literally wrote gibbersih for the next 3. At that instant all i wanted to do was to get the pages filled..and thsi looks like another cat on the wall and things wernt looking too bright. ONce i came out of the hall it looked even more dark and this one in all probability might be the goof up in my colg.

The rest 2papers were subjects that were relatively easy..one was DSP aka degree stopping paper. I found this subject relatively easy as it more of mathematics nad stuff..tho i misread one ques and bungled that up. Apart from that it was fine.

The next Industrial instrumentation 2..one useless subject where all one needs to draw a few diagrams and write gibberish about it. one subject that one can write without learning though there is quite a lot to learn..however manged this subject too...

At the end off this crap..i've managed to finish my 3 yr engg realtively successfully and hoping to get done with this entire shit by next year..its seriously driving me nuts...!!!

test of time..rather engg!!

2007-05-25T12:12:00.001-07:00

Damn i hate this part about engineering..in fact i hate most of the things related to engineering. Anyways its that time of the year when we buggers have to undergo the gruelling ordeal of writing an exam and more importantly clearing it..!! After why the fuck are we then studying?? Most people (me included) are doing engineering for the heck of it...to get the degree so that we can land up with a job.Hardly a handful of us know what the hell we have learnt so far. Anyways I'm mid way of my exams and believe no one likes writing them especially in the hot and sultry weather..it totally sux!! I got another copla exams to get through before i finish my 3 yr( yes..I've almost done it..even I'm surprised that i lasted this long :P )

Let me take you a week back ie on 18 may 2007 , the day my exams started and it was one stupid management paper. I entered the exam hall and i took me around 5 minutes to find my place. The goddamn hall is like an auditorium with nearly 100 tables arranges in one column and there are 5 such columns..so u can imagine the confusion that i faced. Once i find my place the bloody table isn't proper with one of its legs wobbling. So i do the next sensible thing, instead of fiddling around with the table interchange it with one of the other tables near by ;) . The examiner comes and hands over the answer sheet. I fill up all the shitty details about college n course name and crap and wait for the clock to strike 10'o clock , the time when the examiner hands over the time bomb which you have to diffuse within 3 hours. I brush through the question paper and i was thankful that i could write something apart from my registration no n college crap..managed to fill in a few pages and wrote 4 answers with relative ease. I mean which bugger cant write a management paper..all you need is to blabber about time management,efficiency n productivity and basic shit like tat. Somehow managed to get done with this paper and this is where all my comforts ended..the rest of the exams were going to be hell.

After a days break, rather a holiday to study which i didn't make use of i go in for my next exam. This one being some process control stuff and this subject is an absolute pain in the ass (most subjects are pain in the ass...but this one of those special ones). One look at the question paper and i was frantically counting how many marks i could by just merely attempting. I hardly knew any question properly..in the sense that i knew something in everything..just an general idea, but the question how much could i blabber with the limited information i had. I started with backwards and wrote the answer pretty decently. It was just the gift of the gab..kept saying the same stuff in in 10 different ways. In this manner managed to write 3 questions. The 4 and 5 questions i wrote a line each,gave my answer sheet and walked off. This one is gonna be a cat on the wall situation and i'm hoping that i fall on the right side of the wall..

Will write about the rest of the exams in the next blog..but as of now things dont look too bright...its just some crazy shit that i read and makes absolutely no sense to me...rite now i think i'll have to crash..might as well make use of the time to sleep when the time is available rather than repenting later ;)

maya magic

2007-05-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was D Day for the Uttar pradesh elections, the state of dominant politics. It was the day for the announcement of the assembly election results. It was day when MAYAWATI was born again as a real dominant political leader as her party Bahujan Samaj Party(BSP) swept the elections and were capable of forming the government single handedly without any support which the congress was willing to give. Mayawati lead the part to an astounding victory and it was her formula or brahmin and dalit votes that brought her back to power. It was her charismatic leadership and her articulate and vociferous speeches that had a big impact on the peoples attitude and they delivered a resounding verdict for a change in the government.

Out of the total 402 seats present in the assembly one requires a 50% share ie a minimum of 201 seats to form the government single handedly.The BSP single handedly demolished all the other political partied in the fray by capturing a massive 208 seats well over the required limit. Even the various exit polls conducted by various magazines and the news channels didn't expect such a result.In all Mayawati sprung a surprise on every one including the media people and the political parties. Now what was the reasoin for such success in these elections. Her plan was very simple. She combined the brahmin and the dalit votes ie the upper and the lower caste people voted for her and thus eating away into the their party votes. This is easier said than done. The magic of politics that she spun kept everyone confused and the margin by which she won indicated the absolute devastation of the other parties.It is only after the time a of 1978 that a political part has single handedly come into power. Kudos to her for showing such an exlimpary performance.

The Samajwadi Party(SP) leadd by Mulayam Singh and Amar Singh was totally routed during these elections.They could gather oly a meagre 98 seats. What caused their defeat? According to me lawlessness ans inorderness was in absolute shambles. The upper caste had been let down by the BJP and the common man wanted a change. The law and order situation requires a complete upheaval. The SP banked too much on the ad campaign that it ran with Amitabh endorsing it. It gave no dividends and their strategy was useless. They bothered too much about Congress and in particular bashing which was just diverted the attention.They thought that they were taking on only the Congress and the BJP least knowing that the BSP had set the battle plan beautifully to its advantages. In addition Mulayam was bothered too much about the the election commission and commented that the EC was running a parallel government which has been rubbished by everyone. This is probably the first that the elections are being held in a free and fair manner without a single incidence of booth capturing.

Another big loser during these elections was the BJP which lost miserably a large share of the seats. The reason attributed to the BSP campaign and they ate into the upper caste votes of the BJP. The upper castes were probably tired of the BJP's rantings and lost hope in the Mulayam government and hence the only choice available was the BSP. The Congress on the other hand say that they never expected a miracle out of Rahul Baba's road shows and were never in the reckoning.The Congress and the BJP will have to back to the drawing board and do some serious thinking on how to approach the forthcoming polls else their survival not only in UP but as a national party will be in question.

But for the time being the limelight is all one person and she is making maximum use of it to boost her image.Many will remember her as a hardlined and very agressive politician but over the years she defintely has meloowed down considerably. Hoping that she manages to deliver on the faith that the people have laid on her. At the moment one can only say 'yeh sab maya hai'...

heat...

2007-05-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

The movie is worth a watch...Robert de Niro and Al Pacino. One is a cop and the other a thief. It has got certain scenes which are just unbeatable and especially the scene where in Al Pacino and de Niro have a talk and then the guns start blazing. But the review of the movie will be kept for some other day. Its the goddamn weather that is getting onto my nerves.

Its the month of may and the place is already simmering. The heat is just getting unbearable these days. It feels as if one has being kept in a furnace for baking. The other day when i ventured out in order to go to the bank,as i stepped into the daylight, it felt as if a hot iron rod had been placed on my back. It was just unbearable. One doesn't even want to go out these days and the mercury is soaring reaching temperatures as high as 43 c!!! Are we in the subcontinent or in the Gulf or even worse, a place in the Sahara. Only the evenings in a way are pleasant but they hardly last for a substantial time.

Every day i get up with stickiness and the musty smell of the air due to the AC. I head straight for the shower and stand under it for nearly half an hour. Its such an exhilarating feeling having the water falling on your back and soothes the mind too. Well at least fir me this is best way to get some physical relief for the time being. If one steps into the shower at later than 10 Am then he's literally gonna be taking a bath in boiling water and when he comes he feels all the more exhausted and drowsy. I've been sleeping for nearly 8 to 10 hours during the day time and i attribute the drowsiness and the indolence to the heat. All that one does is switches on the AC and keeps it running for the next 24 hours. With the exams starting in a couple of days i wonder how am keep myself from falling asleep. I'm reaching heights of indolence these days and loads of work to finish. Another major issue is the power crisis. Though not as bad as the other states however there are issues related with electricity which are a major concern. When electricity is cut off it becomes an absolute pain and its impossible to stay within the house and its difficult to even venture out. Either ways its a hopeless situation and somethings need to be done to beat the heat. Its just driving me to the point of banging my head on the wall. I wish that some one would deport me to Antarctica or Greenland, at least even if freeze there it'll be in some cool climate but please at least give me ideas of how to beat the heat...!!!!

agnosticism vs atheism

2007-05-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Does GOD exist?? It is a pretty complicated answer and doesn't have an point blank yes or no. What is pertinent is that people are open to both the choices. Agnosticism is a dogma stating that there can be no proof whether GOD exists or any proof contrary to it. Atheism is more hard lined quality or belief of a person who doesn't believe in GOD, in simple words a nihilist. But it is important to note that a is very big difference between the two.

Agnosticism is basically a doctrine that one cannot know the existence of any subject beyond the phenomena of experience ie he relies on his feeling than to prove the existence of any entity. It can also be equated to religious skepticism more due to the influence of science on every one's daily life. Agnosticism can also be defined in a different way, as in the suspension of conclusion or opinion or judgement regarding any pertinent and relevant question based on the lack of evidence. Agnosticism is a positive conclusion of a negative belief. One can't pin point and say that agnosticism deals with cynical or negative attitude. Earlier agnostic people wished to apply the questions of knowledge to all processes nature and human sciences so much so that they started questioning the religious beliefs of the church but mind you never went against the it. A large number of people weighed the evidence for the existence of GOD and concluded that no scientific evidence proved the existence of God. Typically, agnostics held no grudge against people who had no faith in God.Thus agnosticism is a denial of knowledge about whether there is or is not a God.and an agnostic insists that it is impossible to prove that there is no God and impossible to prove that there is one. Ignosticism on the other hand takes the concept of Gods as meaningless one as there are no verifiable results and hence the concept of existence or nonexistence cannot be discussed.

Atheism can be simply put as disbelief in or denial of the existence of God or gods. Unlike agnosticism which is open to the existence of God atheism is a complete positive denial. Atheists argue against traditional proofs for God's existence making it just a matter faith n belief alone. It is grounded on concept of Enlightenment rationalism and supported by scientific model insisting that matter in the physical word represents the reality of the entirety. Atheism can be viewed as a trend that has developed due to the increased materialistic world and more liberalisation and toleration in the political scene. Once upon it was such that the atheists were always against the church and that has in a way mellowed down over the years. However there are atheists who believe that there is no God but had this has no pragmatic consequences in his life and there are atheists who doesn't deny it the existence of God in his heart but nevertheless leads a desolate and immoral life.

Although the concept of God may become obscured by the more vivid and compelling material from the senses, ultimately in dire circumstances or as the end of life approached every one is said to have acknowledged the existence of God.

keep walking....

2007-05-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

I got off from the bus one fine evening on a Saturday. I had just been to the beach and had a a real merry time with my friends. I had time to kill. The sky had been overcast since the evening and now the time was about 6 Pm. The weather was great and i felt like having a walk. The breeze blew past my face, the feeling was just exhilarating and resuscitated the energy within me.i started walking towards my place...

I saw this man with a briefcase in his hand, who evidently seemed to be in quite a hurry. One could make out the beads of sweat on his forehead and shirt also apparently was also drenched with sweat, even in this kind of pleasant weather. Maybe this fellow had a lot of problem bothering him. Maybe his child was unwell or his deal wasn't a success. Whatever the reason one could make out the frustration in his eyes and there was sense of desperation written all over him.

I saw a hawker urging me to buy to buy his wares. It looked from his appearance that he too apparently had a very tiring day. However he had a smile on his face showing the signs of optimism that he had within him. He had beside him a small girl who's look of innocence is hard to forget. Her eyes were radiant in spite of the tattered dress she wore giving a feeling of hope that something better is yet to come and all this just a passing phase.

I saw a group of children playing playing cricket in a ground. Maybe they had come from school and had headed straight for some amusement.After all this time wont come back again. They will never be of the same age again (unless someone invents a time machine...which ain't gonna happen). Someday they too will be passing out of college hunting for a job and supporting a family in additon to be burdened with their aspirations and their dreams. Life can be an absolute pain at times but the joy of life takes is in taking up these challenges and coming out on top.

I see a mother with her baby in her arms. The face of the mother is calm and glows with the happiness. The baby keeps moving its arms in an attempt to grab something that it wants. There is a hidden desire within it and that one may fail to understand. The child is such a docile cration that one can't but admire the innocence. The clouds crak open with the first drops of the rain falling. As a drop falls on the childs face, the tear from its eyes roll down its cheeks...

I look up the heavens and experience the ecstacy and the bliss of the rain drops that fall onto my face. I thank the Almighty for the good things in my life and as pellets of rain drops turn into a torrent....i continue walking...

a very macro 'micro' affair.. part II

2007-05-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yippee....i was so ecstatic and jubilant at the thought of finishing microprocessor. Phew.. i said to my self at least that's taken care off. By the way my HOD left the semester the same way she started it...with an accident. This time it was more serious and she a collar strapped to he neck(that had become a usual sight) and in addition to it she had this weird support kind of stuff to her back and not too mention that twig(the stick eroded due to the use but she never changed it) of hers which she still use d as a walking stick.Well i was happy about one thing, it was the last time i had seen in our class as a professor. Rumours are that she isn't planning to take class for us even during our 4 year. She feels that our class is unlucky..THANK GOD for that. It came to everyone and especially to people like me who are a little retarded at understanding this high tech geekish stuff.

After my exams, the feeling of getting over with my worst nemesis, microprocessor, hardly sunk into me and when college reopened after 10 days( yeah my college is very stingy when it comes to vacation...sadists!!) that they dropped a bombshell. This time we had to deal with MICROPROCESSOR PRACS. GOD.. how much can one take one of the absolute good for nothing subject.This was just making lives miserable for us. And believe me if u haven't understood the theory well then practicals will be hell too. However it was worse for me..'BLOODY HELL' would be the word that I'll use to describe my feelings. But what could one do...if u wanted the degree one had endure a lot of trauma and pain. That's a real sad part in any engineers life. So we get going along with the motions and our teacher this time would be the assistant HOD and a real mean, spiteful,vicious and obnoxious professor from the communication department. The stories that i heard about her were quite terrifying. She would meddle and tamper with your internals if she didn't like you and was capable of making your life a living hell. I decided to not try any funny tricks on her and decided to be as humble as possible( wen one gets desperate to get done with studies and the degree, he'll do anything).

And so in this amnner we got on with our practicals. For people who dont know what / how we programme in a microprocessor.Its some kind of box with keys that look like somethin stolen froma computer( actually they are ;) ) . The programming has to be done in amchine language ie a stupid language that the computer/microprocessor understands. In laymans langauage once you start coding it kind of looks like numbers all over the place like the stuff from The Matrix..its something similar to that.Well needless to say that i was hopeless at it and after a few classes i didnt know what i was doing. Then suddenly out of no where the teacher announces that we ave our university exasm with in a week. I didnt even realize that time had flown by and 2.5 months were completed. It felt as if i had joined college yesterday possibly as i have been givin my ocular muscles druing class hours. So i had this daunting task of cramming up programs and it never helped. So i went to the exam learning only 4 programs..this is was totally out of luck that i got one of them. I was so thankful to the Almighty that he had heard my prayers. I did that program alone, wrote some gibberish for the next one and left the hall with a big sigh of relief and a sense of freedom from this traumatic subject.

If any of you people who dont like programming and unfortunately come across the subject my only advice is get it out of your way as soon as possible...infact this subject has made me stronegr than before because i know that there's no subject as bad as this..so in way am prepared to handle the rest.. [:P]

a very macro 'micro' affair...

2007-05-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

Well the heading doesn't tell much about what I'm writing. To most of the people this will sound dumb and just one of the usual things..but when u confront an engineer( OK..even a so called engineer would do) and ask him about MICROPROCESSOR..he'll go "Oh GOD!!! Not that subject.Ask me anything but that irritating and agonising subject." In fact an electronics(like me) or a computer engineer will best give you an agonisingand believe me if you haven't come across this subject the Gods have been merciful on you and you should consider yourself lucky.

Anyways, my association with microprocessor dates back to my 5 semester during my engineering course roughly about 7 months back when this subject appeared in my syllabus. In fact it wasn't as if i had no clue about the subject. My seniors with whom had interacted had before hand given me an idea of what kind of subject it was and to be honest they didn't paint a very rosy picture. But still i was optimistic and wanted to experience it first hand itself. Well this so called desire of mine so going to come true and i had absolutely no idea what i was in for. Once our college reopened our teacher,apparently our HOD, who was goin to handle microprocessor didn't come to the class for a week and a half. When we enquired we were told that she had met with an accident and was going to be out for nearly a month. We were all jubiliant and ecstatic after hearing this ,we took the other subjects pretty lightly anyways and this is just the perfect beginning that one would like to have for a semester.

Nearly three weeks passed before out HOD came back to college and started taking the subject. It was quiet a ludicrous sight when she entered the class. She had this weird collar that was starapped around her neck and this walking stick, which was more of a branch from some tree to aid her in walking. After all pleasantaries were exchanged and when she was quite satisfied at everyone had got a chance of enquiring about her health and her recovery she got to the teaching business. She started off by asking the most absurd question " how much have you learnt so far?" I mean how dumb can one get??? This lady was out for nearly three weeks and if she expects some one else to be doing her a favour by handling her subject then sadly shes mistaken. Well anyways we all give here this look of 'I dont know' and she gets the answer. She then proceeds to give a brief over view of what we were goin to be learning. To be honest i kind of liked what were going to learn and was quite excited about it( a little geekish but thats the feeling i got). She comes the next day takes these transparent sheets that they call slides and starts providing a slide show for the next one week. It was during this one week that i lost all hopes that i on this pne subject and gave up totally on it by the second week itself. internals were an absolute disaster and it was basically deluge if one can say so. But i ddin't give a damn..i said to hell with this subject. I haven't been born to mug up some programming nonsense.

It was the 3 day break i got during my main examination that enabled me to pull through this godamn subject.Believe me this is absolute painful, anguishing,torturous and tormenting subject. I still cant believe that i made it through this subject.. :) If you havent leant it be happy because IGNORANCE CAN AT TIMES BE BLISS..

loneliness

2007-05-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

well what does one by the term loneliness..?? does it mean empty, void, null, seclusion or solitude?? loneliness will generally mean the above..but its is not easy to interpret how lonely or how secluded a person can be..its is that state of mind when nothing seems to be around and a qualities of exasperation and desperation takes control. Thus loneliness may be described as a feeling of being cut off, disconnected from and alienated from people or any species.
for eg consider a girl sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by people and her friends n the voices of their laughter are echoing through the shop. This girl is also having lots of fun and one can see that her face shows an expression of happiness.However within herself she isn't at peace and there is this void within her heart that doesn't let her live her life normally. The reason being that she is an introvert and doesn't open up to others. She doesn't take her friends or any of her family members into confidence and therefore has the feeling of loneliness or a depression which affects her life from functioning normally.
Loneliness is a relative and varies from person to person. A person may be lonely even if he has a lot of friends and pals but he doesn't get the deserved attention..in certain cases in spite of getting the attention and consideration the person feels detached..this means that there are people who are not satisfied by even the attention that certain are deprived of. A lonely person thus depend or rather hugs a some kind of illusion that makes him happy and keeps him going.According to me no human being can bear a steady view of moral solitude without going mad.Isolation is sum total of all the wretchedness that could happen to a person. A classic example would be from the movie OLDBOY where in a person is kept in solitary confinement for 15 years without telling him the reason and he's fed the same fried dumplings day in day out until he nearly goes mad.It is one of the real good movies that I've watched and the direction is simply amazing. The review will be kept for some other day. Coming back to the point them trying to make is that loneliness is an infection which has a remedy.No one ever discover the depths of his own loneliness. It is something that one will have to comprehend himself and take active measures so as not to go in further depression.Loneliness is just more than feeling of wanting company and the feeling of wanting of doing something.
loneliness has very simple and easy cure. A lonely person doesn't require attention..what he requires is love,affection,warmth and a sense of feeling that he is someone special.Thus isolation and negative attitude is the last thing that a estranged person would want.Loneliness might be bliss at times but too much of loneliness is just abnormality.

top 5 rockers in my list...

2007-05-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

Well im big rock fan..and listen to so many bands..lemme jus run u throught the top 5 rock faces according to me...

Bruce Dickinson :

This guy is absolute treat to listen to . Lead singer of Iron Maiden the energy that he has with him on the stage is simply amazing. Apart from tat his voice is just one in a million. Dickinson possess genuine power and melody and has altered his voice to being more guttural and raw for songs such as Fear Of the Dark(FOD) , Hallowed Be Thy Name etc.. Apart from being a singer and a writer he’s also a pilot and pretty good at his favorite sport namely fencing. FOD has over the years become a cult metal song and is one of the most requested songs.Here’s to u Bruce..SCREAM FOR ME…..!!!!

James Hetfield :

He’s the most prominent face of Metallica. One true rockstar..this guy jus exudes energy when he’s on stage and gets the crowd going with his gruff and extreme voice.A fellow who takes no rubbish from anyone and has a great attitude. manipulates the puppets according to his wish, provides the fuel for entertainment and turns the page every time you think he’s done. Showed the door to Mustaine and carries the band single handedly on his shoulder. At times accused of being to arrogant..but this bugger knows truly knows how to rock..so apart from all that ..all I can say is..NOTHING ELSE MATTERS…

Kurt Cobain :

Talk about grunge rock n the first name that comes to you is NIRVANA and the first name that comes after that is Mr. Cobain. The true face of grunge rock and of Nirvana . They were the ones who popularized grunge rock . The songs were written by kurt himself and he didn’t believe in making things complex…he made the lyrics as simple as possible and this is evident in the smash hit Smells like teen spirit which broke all records and the album Nevermind is one of the top selling albums of all time. He took grunge rock to different level altogether and entertained the crowd with weird antics on stage which included a dope show n wreckage of all the guitars n drums on stage..He was cool in his own way and inspite of his demise his SPIRIT lives on…

Jimmy Page & Rober Plant :

This is the famous combo that took Led Zep to dizzying heights. Page with his amazing riffs n Plant with a voice which he modulate in any manner he wanted to made Led Zep one of the all time great bands in rock history. Led Zep’s music is such that it’ll make you high even if you aren’t doped and that’s what great about the music that they made. Jimmy page could make the guitar speak and the riffs that he played just makes nod your head till you just doze off. Led zep has been one of the most copied bands and they will be right at the top among any rock fans list. after all they showed us the Stairway to Heaven….

Jim Morrison :

Yet another talent that wasn’t fully utilized. Morrison most famous during his stint with the The Doors. His wispy, sonorous,unusual baritone captured the hearts of millions and by far the most famous song is Riders In the Storm which was craze when the album was released. Even now the song popular courtesy NFS soundtrack but the original is unbeatable. The Doors were fisrt recognized in the national scene at the age of 1967 and from there on there was no looking back. They produced hits after after hits. Later as time progressed Morrison became antagonistic towards crowds and was also arrested for indecent exposure. He died at the age of 27 due high addiction to drugs and alcohol joining the Jimmy Hendrix and Freddie Mercury who died at the same age. He however is still considered to be one of the most charismatic men in rock history.

mondays...!!!!

2007-05-07T11:59:00.000-07:00

The alarm of my clock rings on only one particular day of the week..yup..ur right..its a bloody MONDAY..correctly at 5:30 AM. 24 hours ago i was having so much fun..roaming around with my friends and explorin places that i havent been before n here i am sleepingly switch off the alarm...plannin to wake up after 15 mins or so..n then i start hearin my grandma or my mom..whoever is present at the house at that time..shoutin out from the kitchen to wake up...GOD mondays i guess are a sad day in anyones life..!! sux totally..nyz..with the breath of the coffee tat i had drunk the previous night i get out of my bed..to head to the bathroom..n jus head straight for the shower...as the water beats down my back..its an exhilirating feeling..!!! i jus want to keep standing under the shower until all the water finishes..but me bein in chennai...due to water scarcity problem have to be a little conservative and hence sadly step out of the shower.

Its after all this that hassle starts...i suddenly remember that there are 4 or 5 assignments that have to be submitted else the professors will start to insult you in front of everyone..n then feeds u with threats.. bullshit infact, that hell make sure that you wont be able to attend the university exams..and hell report you to the HOD. Keepin all these thoughts in mind i gulp down my milk( yup i still drink milk durin the mornings..its become a habit)..n hurriedly rush to the bus stop with a lab coat flung over my shoulder and with books jutting out of my bag..im still devisin of an excuse of how to explain to the professor...gettin into the bus...take a seat..then decide to dream about the excuse rather than think about it..n by the time i dream about it my partner gives me jolt and pulls me out of the fantasy world..and i proceed towards my class with a sleepy n glum look ...and as i give an enquirin look to my friends they nod in unision..givin me the same look of desperation and helplessness...so all in all..MONDAYS well n truly SUCK..!! so enjoy sundays to the max..party hard..and have fun...expectin a lotta sadness the next day and one a bad start to the week can make the entire week a miserable one..!!!

THE FOUNTAIN

2007-05-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well...i saw this movie a few days back..n lemme tell ya this movie has truly affected me. It has made me ask some serious questions which i had previously ignored...and answers are hard to come by. This is a little different than other movies..it makes you think..question..search for answers... and tats wat i like about this movie.It is a movie which is very philosophical and metaphorical talkin about love,death and our existence in this world.

This is made by Dareen Aronofsky, director of the Requiem for a Dream. It stars Hugh Jackman n Rachel Weiz along with Ellen Burstyn. Three stories are spun together and are told simultaneously...the amazin thing is tat the director manages to pull it off..!!! It starts in the jungles of the Mayan civilisation to the present day America and ends in a golden bubble in space. The movie spans over 1000 years..is a visual treat..due to the cinematography...u just feel like taking a snap n hang to the wall in your bedroom..it looks so peaceful and serene.

The movie revolves around Tom( Hugh Jackman) who tries to find a cure for his wife Izzi( Rachel Weisz) who battles against cancer for her life. It is this scenario that is shown in all the three storylines and it was one fo those rare movies that had a deep impact on me. At first one may get confused about whats going on but as the movie proceeds everything falls into place and transports you into a indescribable world that is dreamy n shakes you. Hugh Jackman delivers an absolute mesmerizing performance n the fella is gettin with each n every movie..this one demanded a lot of character from him and hes done a fantastic job. Rachel Weisz is also very emotive delivers a very good performance..the chemistry was pretty good to watch. The Fountain is not a movie that should be analysed by story but enjoyed as an experience, this is wat Darren emphasised on. However it is the last 15 to 20 minutes that seriously move u...and if u have watched the movie carefully..you will certainly FEEL what i felt...and it is this part of the movie that really has an impact on you.

Dont go and watch this movie expectin a requiem for a dream part II because the movie is totally different. Watch it for the experience im sure that u'll enjoy it. The movie is not dialogue driven and relies totally on the expressions of the actors. Some may label the movie as pretentious but i dont think it is..i personally feel this is a masterpiece by Darren..fail to understand why it failed to make impact as it should have had. So go and check this movie out enjoy the experience.

my first blog...

2007-05-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

well i've been noticin lots of my friends bloggin a lot..at first it didnt make sense ..i mean y wud fellas jus sit in a front of a computer n type down their feelings??? wat do they gain by it?? i was perplexed..until one day..tat day being today..i realized tat these people were as JOBLESS as me and in some cases more than me..!!! but i guess thr must be ssomethin in bloggin tat ppl r so into it these days..nyz..ill give it a try...for once lemme try somethin tat might just turn out to be useful apart from jus wastin my godam time by jus sleepin n watchin movies...